He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize