i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
