Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
