dude i'm inner monologue high
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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