so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
