Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Randomize
