Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
there was a trapeze. enough said
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
