You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
