you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
So many bounce houses so little time
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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