I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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