why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
