I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
