so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
