this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
