I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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