im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
