Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
