Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i dont even know how to be here
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize