you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
