This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You can't just leave with hair like that
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
