Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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