We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
