I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
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