He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
