I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize