im gay
i know
yea but for you.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
