So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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