Can Purell be used as lube?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
