At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
