She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
