Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
it's like iHOP with fire
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
