I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
