i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
