he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
