A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
