So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
