I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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