Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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