is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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