You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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