Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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