Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
