Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize