problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Every concussion has its silver lining
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
