She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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