the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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