there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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