My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
