no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
