Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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