walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
