Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
