in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
