apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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