I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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