I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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