Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
