You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
