Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
