oh god the rape fog is back!
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
