He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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