genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
