Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
i think my cat just said my name.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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