I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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