I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
