She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Randomize
