Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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