But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
a search helicopter?!
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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