Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Randomize
