chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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