Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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