I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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