ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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