I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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